Holy Shlonk 'n' Jesus!! By DETROIT JACK, Phallus Press Writer – Sat Oct 32, 1:38 pm ET
As testimony to the slaughter, and witness to the last strings of control, I cowered as Jesus Shlonk scissored his tongue through the vulnerable necks of the unsuspecting punters, whose severed heads lay stacked in the vaulted gallery within the upper chambers of Moon Step haunt, where they are kept as play things for the teasing whip of mS. RIACO.
Once touted for his powers to elude the gaze of all, the Invisible Man was destined to be judged under the bludgeoning eye of Jesus Shlonk in another of Ed Woods gruesome tales of two fisted scum punk! Slashed in the face by a twenty minute set that drove the blind deaf to the vomiting howls of destruction, the last wills of severed heads dimmed with their fingers grasping the red slicked floor to screams of bloody mercy rising from the claws of Jesus Shlonk.
Nails dripping with the blood of rock and roll innocents prayed for the Apocalyptic challenge of any savior within howling distance, but there was no heed to the call on this Halloween eve, as the massacre perpetrated by Shlonk left the black dungeon red and littered with the headless carcasses of unsuspecting merrymakers. "Wanna try? hahaha" he screeched, as the spared piled for the safety of the hallow city streets.
The Mummies Announce Mummification Plans By DETROIT JACK, Phallus Press Writer – Sat Oct 31, 1:37 pm ET
After an historic Tokyo performance by the Mummies at the Halloween Ball 2009, on the 20th Anniversary of Back From The Grave, members of the legendary outfit from San Bruno, CA. announced plans to mummify their Mummy remains. Under an apparent signed agreement by all current band members, their management will seek the expert advice of a practicing mummification embalmer in order to formalize agreements of embalming to take place upon each members death.
Their Tokyo fans cheered the news as a large Canopic jar was placed in the center of the audience for the collection of donations to help the band proceed with their plans. Over $1000 was collected, and free mummified recordings were given to contributors as offerings.
The Mummies members are leaving Tokyo Monday morning for Cairo, where they plan to use the donations to purchase four Canopic jars for each member, which will be stored with an embalmer in Egypt. The band also stated that strict adherence to traditional symbolism on the jars will be followed. However, they reserved the right to choose their preferred artist, who they quickly declared to be Rockin' Jellybean, who has agreed to travel to Egypt some time next year for the ceremonial painting of the Canopic jars.
Upon the return of each members remains to Egypt, a two month mummification process will take place. Each body will be stripped and placed on a board, at which time the brain will be extracted through the nose. The brain cavity will be filled with a combination of linen and resin. Their chests will be cut opened and with the exception of the heart, the organs removed and stored in the four Canopic jars, representing the four sons of Horus. Their body cavities will be washed and packed with natron for 40 days, after which they are dried, sewn back together and sealed with wax, and then cleaned and wrapped in a very thick layer of linen.
In an interview following the Halloween Ball, the Mummies members told this reporter of further plans to begin construction of a four story pyramid on land they had purchased four miles west of the Cairo city limits in the desert. They admitted however, that official building permits had not yet been approved, but that they were unconcerned, as proper authorities had been paid in order to gain written permission.
Overwhelmed by the onslaught, Tokyo punters looked upon their sold out tickets in a holy new light, and word circulated that a garage rock pilgrimage to the future Egyptian site will commence upon the first death of any member of the Mummies.
Rockers often climb from beneath heaps of uniform codes and rigid control mechanisms, that for various explainable reasons make absolutely no sense at all, and thus, cannot be followed due to a desire or drive to think as independent Beings. Such challenges to excepted logic and potentially corrupting influences perpetuated through so-called normal culture come in the form of artistic expression . . . , and in this case, rock and roll. When compared with other professions, where individuals might gain the status of legend, I would argue that rockers are more inclined to be empathetic and humane within their status. Of course, we're all on this highway to hell regardless of any illusions we might employ in our attempts to escape our living hells unharmed, while at the same time leaving Earth in a heap of shit, which to a Dung Beetle is a necessity of life, teaching us, that rolling our shit into harmless art forms, may likely be the most positive task at hand. Such artists often gain legendary status which is not earned through name or artistic ability alone, but further inspired by character that reflects an ascent to the top, and which positively reflects on all the shitty baggage encountered along that ascent, which if interpreted wisely, often pied-pipes us down an introspective road to artistic reality. For my two cents, the most humbling and respectable qualities of many aged and aging rockers are two values, the first being [not to harm], and the second being [gratitude]. That is not to say that those who cannot achieve such wisdom or control aren't brilliantly tuned to what they do, but that one should be skeptical of a character that leaves others searching for something positive to grasp in order to validate their given status as legend, which they may now or might somewhere down the line hold. While working with The Dogs over the past fourteen years, I have discovered the model of how rockers can age, and can positively influence the world, making it a better place to rock and roll with the punches that we all face in our daily lives. More over, after videotaping nearly fifteen-hundred bands in as many years divided by one-hundred, and having met most of those bands, I can attest to the fact that not all aging rockers are able to transcend the juvenile delinquency, teenage angst and irritated longing that gives rise to their art, their underlying characters and, possible status as legends. However, most of the rockers I have met over the past thirty odd years do display an amazing selflessness that comes with experience, wisdom and awareness of self. We all own our personal angst and the energy it creates, and perhaps we simply look to art and artists for validation, inspiration, community and communion to justify and share our angst. In the end, it is how successful we are at rolling our angst into positive balls of art, like the Dung Beetle, which gives us the possibility of becoming artistic legends of substance, which in turn may inspire others to achieve a wiser understanding of self. Why? Because fans, like artists, look to art for a myriad of cultural inspirations: inspirations that can enlighten the realities, the roots and origins of characters that produce art, and which influence for the positive . . . , while angst ridden negativity in turn, delivers a destructive message that can leave a generation blank, the results from which, humans may not recover. The goal of such an ascendency is not to throw away or negate the angst that drives many of us to express ourselves, but, to gain understanding of self, and grow more powerful within our angst as we nurture and reflect upon our characters in order to share ever increasing substance with a greater and greater audience . . . , artistically, positively, and perhaps, as rock and roll legends.
Fussa, Japan was hit by an Abnormal stealth bomb last Saturday nite! Club Eddie's was destroyed in a firestorm of rock 'n' killroy when thee Comi took the stage following the Saturn invaders outside the American military base, which rose from the ashes of the Vietnam war to breed a hybrid English speaking Japanese, who still follow the credence of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll!
Comi crawled from the inferno in resonating fury to strike back at the grunts occupying the proscenium, thus exstinguishing howls of hail to the chief. In an onslaught unseen since the battle of Iwa jima, guitars bayonetted the front lines, eardrums burst from bomb blasts of bass riffs strafing the riotous trenches descending into hand to hand combat rock. Insignia of sculls and crossbones lay waste to an unsuspecting garage corp infantry.
Mopping up the flailing bodies beaten with Murochin sticks of obedience commanded an allegiance to a new flag, that of the Abnormals, on this day of our new lord and provider, the pirates guide and purveyor of all that shakes the ass of those who truly believe in the force of rock and roll: the twenty fifth day in the month of our Caesar, Julius, MMIX.
Gories, Oblivians, Brother Cartright, Brother James and Barbiturate Heaven!!
Back in the Motor City after a ten year hiatus in Tokyo, mission one upon landing . . . get Gories/Oblivians tickets! Mission two . . . get stoned . . .and I nearly did, when I made a case for the "Not god bless America, but, goddamn America" statement, and, offered a reasoned argument defending Bill Ayers: well, it was nice to see the family anyway.
But, more importantly, The Gories/Oblivians! Got my pass to the show of the year at the rockin' Majestic Theater on Woodward two weeks in advance, and thank Nietzsche, because it sold out within days. Following The Dogs "Rustbelt Tour" the previous week, getting my SRB album signed by Scott Morgan, and finally getting stoned, what more could a philosophical beat rocker ask for? On top of that, the master heartstring puller himself, Brother Greg Cartwright gathered his disciples on the Garden deck the next day.
I'm not going to review any of these shows, because there is nothing to say. If you were in Detroit and didn't attend these shows, well, you must have the best damn excuse or lie or something, and/or you don't have a clue (probably because you're still stuck on 80's hair bands . . . but don't get me wrong, I luv my family!). If you were one of the well informed, and made the shows, well . . . we still might be stupid human tricks, but, at least we grasped something righteous and worthy.
To prove my point, I happened to be blessed in the company of Brother Cartwright and his disciples on the day of the sacrament (of which we partook), by the one and only Sinister Six man himself Brother James!! Now this truly was a miracle . . . that this soul rockin' toxic soil should be anointed by thee kings of the Far East, West, South and North to bring Human Nature sinner-gy back to Motown.
True story: I begged Brother Rick to stop by Hitsville U.S.A. an hour before we found out Michael had followed Thee King to barbiturate heaven.
Thurs. 11th - Morning Tue. 16th Go Northern Michigan
Tue. 16th (morning) Go to Lansing from Elbow Lake (Northern Michigan), drop off CD's to shops, Drop Dogs stuff at Michigan R&R Legends Hall Of Fame in Bay City, meet & attend The Dogs practice Take picture of The Dogs in Park (same as in promo photo 40 years ago)
Wed. 17th The Dogs Show Ann Arbor (MEETS RETROKIMMER) sell CDs at shows & deliver CDs to shops before show
Thurs. 18th The Dogs Show Cleveland (sell CDs at shows & deliver CDs to shops before show)
Fri. 19th -The Dogs Show Lansing (sell CDs at shows & deliver CDs to shops before show)
Sat. 20th (wake up 8-9:00) 12 noon - 4:00 Lapeer Dragway: 10 miles north of Oxford: 4:00-? Graduation Party
Sun. 21th 9:00 - 1:30 The Muggs: Cadieux Cafe: 313-882-8560
Mon. 22nd - Fri. 26th Tigers vs. Cubs Stars & Stripes Fest, Mt. Clemens (see the MUGGS) 6:30 Stop by record shops to drop off CDs, Hamtramck, Roseville, Dearborn
Sat. 27th Oblivians/Gories show [6.27] THE GORIES/THE OBLIVIANS
(I'd like to check out Hamtramck and property in Hamtramck before the show, and visit Gina & Mitch at Design 99 for information on property:
Sun. 28th -Greg Cartwright show 2:00
[6.28] GREG CARTWRIGHT (ON THE ALLEY DECK) (I'll probably go to the Hitsville U.S.A. MUSEUM (Motown) and eat lunch at Motown Coney Island before the show)
Before John Lennon had penned "John Sinclair" as a protest against the political imprisonment of Mr. Sinclair, The Dogs had written their own now famous rallying cry titled, “John Rock and Roll Sinclair”. The Dogs walked, and continue to walk arm in arm with their brothers and sisters in the struggles of the past and present. Following the demise of the revolution, The Dogs left Michigan to become cofounders of the punk movements in New York and L.A.
The Dogs' "Fed Up" and "Slash Your Face" are recognized as seminal songs of the punk era. From playing gigs with the MC5 to the Ramones, The Dogs were and are one of the most respected bands of the rock era. All who listen recognize the purity of The Dogs spirit, and the uniqueness of their masterful simplicity, which is powerful, poetic and "strong like a Viet Cong".
For this reason, Future Now Records has released 'The Dogs Tribute . . . Doggy Style'. After videotaping The Dogs reunion gig in L.A. in 2001 (which will be released on DVD in Spring 2009, and is titled 'Doggy Days . . . 'The Dogs live L.A. to Tokyo', work on the tribute began by asking some of the greatest garage, rock and hardcore bands to go into the studio to record the classic Dogs songs.
The goal was to compile premium quality recordings with a package that would go above and beyond the major labels. This 26 band, 2 CD package with a 28 page booklet containing liner notes by John Sinclair, never before seen photos, artwork by Rockin' Jellybean, and amazing unreleased recordings of The Dogs from the height of the revolution, gives praise to The Dogs. So, strap yourselves in for some hard rockin' truth and justice; The Dogs Tribute . . . Doggy Style is here
