Sunday, December 19, 2010

Rockin' Twirls, Custom Curls & Hot Girls!

By Detroit Jack, Phallus Press Writer - Sun Dec. 7, 7:51 am ET

Photos by Detroit Jack

At 11:45 am, December 5th, 2010, Yokohama Japan was hit by a massive tsunami, the likes of which have not been recorded since the great temple that once housed the Amida Buddha of Kamakura was laid waste. Cars piled up and dragged along the pavement as squealing could be heard around every corner. Swarms of lathered pedestrians crowded any refuge from the salty blasts, as those less fortunate were stripped by the waves that flowed between the bare thighs, which quivered amongst high powered rumblings.

"Why this . . . Why now?!", was a common reflection on this Bitch Attack from the deep wet saline rich void. As Mother Nature spread her vacuous expanse, more went in than came out, as the throbbing range of tidal pools sucked in all that was desired. Jackie and the Cedrics took the high ground in an attempt to satisfy the cravenness appetite of the Goddess who will not be named. They beat upon their drums, and leapt from the mount in attempts sooth the all too powerful one.

As if caught in a dream dance, her thoughts distracted by the rhythms cast at her, the gushing torrents subsided, leaving a powder white misty glaze on the face of the city. Though subdued, this event, along with the great Amida Buddha stand as testimony to powers of this Goddess, who has on more than one occasion reminded humanity, that mere mortals are no match to her salty twirls and custom curls.

Now, some two weeks on, makeshift memorials mark the areas on which the all powerful Goddess sprayed her mightiest mists of misfortune. White salty patches that are being preserved and decorated with images conjured up in the imaginations of those who survived.

Some have painted personal reflections of the Goddess herself, which can be seen at the various sites throughout city, while others simply present the twisted metal wreckage of the machines that failed to take flight.

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Fever Pitch Hits Free Market Crash

By Detroit Jack, Phallus Press Writer - Sat Sept.11, 8:46:40 am ET

Photos by Detroit Jack

Tokyo Rockers cleaned out their nooks, crannies, closets and shoe boxes searching for the golden bullet to the top of the underground Free Market Crash that precluded an all out assault on communal harmony. Rockin' Punkers brought their molded straps and soiled treasures to lay bare on erected platforms so often equated with the offerings made to the flea market gods of the West.

A signed pair of Elvis' underwear was rumored to be on offer, though they never surfaced among the minion of guitar cases stuffed with the undergarments of the nights' acts. I personally had my mitts on a long red silky pair of cabaret stockings purportedly worn by one of the all too sexy Supersnazz members, though after further inquiry, they dropped from my clinging gloves when Super "Greg" Snazz lay claim to ownership. Yeah, sexy I guess . . . , but . . . ANYWAY . . .

Found among the offerings that documented the brief supremacy of the Nippon garage punk and roll underground were, a Teengenerate T-back here, a pair of Jackie & the Cedrics' &$#"$(# there! Must have had a good time in Spain!! A box of Thunder Roads chocolates with Jellybeans' on top, obviously rejected and put up for sale by a smoldering broken heart, a single rockabilly leopard skinned platform shoe, who the owner swore belonged to Mick Collins, and a tiger stripped leotard, which was priced at $2, but when my friend inquired as to the patron of ownership, no one would lay claim. My friend stuffed it in her bag for future ballet lessons.

When the Free Market Carnage had finally come to a head, the pints began to reverb from the stage. And, oh my, this was an ass kicking! Supersnazz are currently at their peak, which covers a twenty year climb to the pinnacle of their sound, that makes legendary those red cabaret stockings my friend (a Young Parisian) acquired from the free market offerings to the gods.

Further, when contemplating supreme triumph, this nights' punters' witnessed the crowning of thee supreme trio of Nippon garage rock, and those acclamations being so heartfully won by Sammy, Fifi and Fink, who are, were and always will be American Soul Spiders, Teengenerate, Raydios, Tweezers, Firestarter and beyond! They all out conquered this Free Market Crash and Burn: the likes of which one must truly travel East to bare witness.

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Nikki Gorvette vs. Mothra vs. Godzilla

By Detroit Jack, Phallus Press Writer - Mon May 4, 6:01 pm ET

Photos by Detroit Jack

F.A.D.! Femme fatale A la Detroit! Sweet sweet sweaty smells of femme fatale could not be contained last night in Yokohama. Authorities were alerted as waves of tender rhythms broke into all out passionate inhibition. Chinatown has not witnessed such uncontrollable hysteria since Godzilla subdued Mothra, an event which scientists now suspect played a key roll in last nights mass love in.

Scientists have detected dispersed powdered female hormones most likely spread in Yokohama by Mothra in 1992. Once Mothras' latent hormone powders were whipped up and mixed with the provassive estrogen of the unsuspecting audience, the stompin' frenzy of the Gorvette punters soon spun out of control and into the wider Yokohama district, where the masses were overcome with sexual desires.

After analyzing evidence, authorities are leaning toward a theory that the high energy Detroit rock rhythms expounded at the show, released MC5 (Microbial Centrifugal 5), #5 of ten points that lay deep in the psyche, and a component of apparent force on the human body in curvilinear motion which leads to "f---ing in the streets". Also bafling to the Japanese intelligensia are the cravings amongst their masses for the Detroit sound.

Further, intelligence agencies most certainly suspect an attempted infiltration of the Japanese culture that aims to exact revenge for the demise of the Detroit industrial complex. The aim of the government is to contain with a firm hand the passions of their constituents, while corporate leaders are calling for an all out blockade of any imports originating from the Motor City.

In the wake of the mass release of sexually charged inhibition, the Japanese Government announced on national television, that it is considering the tough choice of summoning Godzilla to the Yokohama district, their quintessential defense, in an all out war to suppress the spread of the G.F.F.A. (Guitar Fueled Femme fatale Army).

Club owners however, insist that the rock n' roll expounded by Nikki Corvette simply and unintentionally raised the stakes in an on going debate over the value of relying on the protection of the island nation to remain in the authoritarian claws of Godzilla, who, while successful in eradicating suspected enemies, ultimately unleashes a trail of destruction. They suggest that a softer, more sensitive ally may lay with the estrogen laden Mothra and R.R.R. (Revolutionary Rockin' Revelations) bourn in the Motor City.

All toll, there's certain to be more made of last nights event than there truly is in reality, but facts remain, the silkily lathered leather jacketed Japanese rock and roll fans show no signs of tiring of their Motor City addiction, and to kicking out the jams A la Detroit style.

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)