Rattus Scabies, Brian James & the Texas Bomb!!

By Detroit Jack, Phallus Press Writer - Sun. June 17, 12:00 am TT

Photos by Detroit Jack

Oh, the humanity!!  Heads hung in disbelief as the Colossus Rat spread Scabies over Texas.  Overcome and disillusioned, mass burials overwhelmed the Damned.

The Legend Story tells of the return of Karni Mata the hindu rat goddess who vowed to return to earth as a colossus rat and lay waist to the human scourge that had ravaged the land in their quest for immortality.

Prior exposure to a like event has never been recorded in the annals of history, thus were the condemned left to fend for their land, their customs and the souls.

The wondrous rhythms lead the unsuspected down a path with no Looking Back, as the past had been erased from the minds of the entranced mass.

Escape was not an option, as the pipes of the Pied Piper were turned on the human dredge by the god Typhoeus, leaving a trail of corpses circumventing the globe.

Sick Of Being Sick forced those who could not endure to take themselves off to the nothingness where they were promised they would no longer Feel The Pain.

Though relegated such a reprieve, the gods and goddess were Born To Kill, and for them, no compassion nor sympathy could be spared on the Problem Child known as humanity.

In the end of times there could be no understanding of Being and Time, as all had been built on the myth of MCMLXX.

There would be no Texas, no enduring legacy of what had come before, and for the last standing, there was only the remainder of The Damned.

Detroit Jack translates for the Rat Scabies/Brian James interview for Old Fashion Punk Magazine . . . for which there were no Vaccines!!

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

Latent Atomic Residue Beyond Wonka Suplex!!!

By Detroit Jack, Phallus Press Writer - Sat. April 7, 1:04 am TT

Photos by Detroit Jack

Latent Atomic Residue (LAR) spread beyond the Wonka Suplex via a newly shattered glass tower, replicating the Sexplex of forty years past, unleashing a Baby Love terror on the unsuspecting Dasein of East Shinjuku.

The propagation of the Atomic dread, known as the Heavysick, had long been relegated to the past as the only human catastrophe to ever come forth from the wild creations within the Wonka Suplex.

Some forty years ago, the Wonka Atomic Suplex gave inertia to the revolutionary Wonkavator, which travelled in any direction to any location worldwide.

The cutting edge technology of the Atomic Suplex could even capture The Volume Out, referring to all of the energy released by the Wonkavator, capturing it, and suplexing its atomic molecules for reuse.

It was during the maiden voyage that the Great Mongoose (referring to the atomic molecule capturing unit) disintegrated, thus causing the original LAR release.

Called in to do the original clean-up operation, the Minnesota VooDoo Men brigade, the Umpa Lumpa manned division tasked with the most dangerous Wonkapations, successfully magnetized the wayward particles into an atomic cloud known as a Danger Danger.

While contained and returned to the Atomic Suplex, the radiant damage had already been done. Having affected the hormonal drives of the male species, thus causing pheremone levels to increase one-hundred fold, the female species multiplied that effect by one-thousand.

As had occurred some forty years prior, the Heavysick spread last Saturday night. Miwa Females were witnessed ripping off their tops in mad frenzied spotting of their male counterparts.

In the early morning hours it was every man for himself and, all a man could do to thwart being taken, tied, molested and left to lay in wait for the next attack.

Damn you Willy Wonka all to HELL!!

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

Droid Bats In The Belfry . . .

By Detroit Jack, Phallus Press Writer - Sat March 11, 11:43 pm TT

Photos by Detroit Jack

Brushing hardened steel shoulders as we ascended the darkened well, one could not assess the features behind the direct gazes of the android beings as they passed.

Winds bristled our locks with the sounds of deeper intent as we neared the light that focused our gaze as we climbed.

Breaking the proscenium seemed a sacrilegious act, though few attempts garnered a following, theee Bat laid waste to any forbidden sacrament.

Flaying into the unsuspecting punters, leveling them at their knees with the thuds of meat on anvils, the mutant Android Beach Party was just getting under way.

With Chants of R&B, theee Bat pulled at the breast strings of scantily clad droids, who unwittingly bargained with the flutters of night in hopes of andraulic regeneration.

Droplets of sulfuric damage speckled the floor of fangs that lapped their mouths at the toes of leaking droids as the frenzy ensued.

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

Custom Territory Story . . .

By DETROIT JACK, Phallus Press Writer – Sun Dec 4, 12:59 pm TT

Photos by Detroit Jack

Custom blades flicked, stainless exhaust pipes sparkled and combs greased back locks, as the Low Riders moved in on the Customs turf.

Hot mamas pushed their leather clad boys into scuffles with the Low Riders under a desperate envious M(.)(.)N as the territorial takeover ensued.

Slashed faces, sandwiched knuckles, chain whipped torsos and fisted machine metal did battle in the open air coliseum as anxious stilettos became bloodstained prizes.

Cedrics, Deuce Coupes and Hemi's fought the good fight, but, slowly, forced back into a dark corner of the lowly garage, tires deflated, pumps exhausted and engines blown, the victors claimed their silky prizes.

Fearful of being sold as Low Rider scrap, the customs banned together with their two-wheeled brethren to do final battle!

With the Banzai Hootenanny raging in the backdrop, race lines edged to and fro, as teams of slicked back grease charged through red lights uninhibited.

Finally, the death of Justine laid all in somber reminiscence of past and future, with mutual respect achieved, and an agreed upon territorial division, now, hopefully, the garage of futures past will live in solace and with the admiration of building one from the other.

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

Muscle Car Invasion!

By DETROIT JACK, Phallus Press Writer – Fri Oct 29, 9:59 am TT

Photos by Detroit Jack

It made absolutely no sense, that earplugs and gas masks would be standard issue upon entering Heavysick on the night I would see my good friend from Australia . . . , who had come to Tokyo for a one night off gig with a Japanese backing band.

I did however find it even stranger that several Dirtrucks were backed up to the service door of the venue off loading massive eight cylinder Detroit Muscle action power units, that were being wheeled inside.

"Hell Yeah!" was my first reaction. A bona fide mini hotrod show to go along with some high octane rock and roll!!

But, the masks?! Damo MC (my good mate from down under) was the headliner . . .

The room dark . . . , the stage unlit. A mechanical echoed voice comes over the house speakers . . . . "Don your masks! Don your masks!! Insert earplugs now! Insert earplugs NOW!! WWWWWOOOOOOHHHHHH! WWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHH!!

THE REVS WERE HORRIFIC!! THREE MASSIVE MUSCLE CAR ENGINES ROARED FROM THE STAGE IN VARYING RYTHMS . . . . A FORD 390, A CHEVY 396, AND A MOPAR 440!!

OUTRAGEOUS TUNING, SWEET FUMES OF INDUSTRIAL PRODUCTION SANG THE SONG OF FREEDOM DYING, AS THE ROOM FILLED WITH OIL LAIDEN SMOKE AND VIBRATIONS OF MAN MADE LUST . . . . . , WAAAAMP!!! WITH THE PUNTERS BACKED AGAINST THE WALLS, EMERGED THE QUEEN OF NOISE . . . . . MUSCLE CAR!

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)

God Ra's Solar Attack!

By DETROIT JACK, Phallus Press Writer – Sun Aug 7, 9:59 pm TT
Photos by Detroit Jack


Earthdom being bombarded with magnetic solar flares cast upon them by God Ra, only heightened the calls to spread Heavy Metal Glue over surface of the planet in an attempt to capture and store the energy, to be returned in the form of impulse rays designed to counter the onslaught.


Taking center stage was the goddess of Eternal Elysium, who inhaled the bovril masses to guard them from the toxic Heavy Metal Glue scorching the green planet, as the final measure was employed and the preservation of mankind took precedence.


Only the kuruucrew, who are immune to the toxic glue, would not emerge from the magnetic rays, as they slowly atomized into the quantum fields of light, dwindling to a final few, as the absorbent glue was laid over the planet.


As the Heavy Metal Glue glowed with the energy of infinitesimal atomic particles, blackening the crust beneath, the planets sphere was stretched a thousand miles here and there in waves of volcanic eruptions of gas and granite, molten and magma, fissures and cracks that forced the goddess to hovel, on the dark side, in the Church Of Misery.


As the magnetic flares of God Ra dissipated with increasing retreat, the boundless energy stored in the glue burst out from Earthdom, following the solar trail back to its source. Magnified in the trillions, the burst sealed the god of the White Heaven at its core, and there to remain until billions of light years have passed.

*All photos and content property of Jack Waldron (photos may not be used without written permission)